I am...

Everything that I am, not so much because of what I have experienced personally, but because of what I had watched people experience.

D-Now 2010

This past weekend was a real blessing to me. We took our high school and middle school students to Camp Greenville which is on the North Carolina-South Carolina border. It was a truly amazing experience. First and foremost I was surprised by the unbelievable respect that our students showed. There were no bad attitudes, there were no disrespectful attitudes, and best of all there was no drama! The lessons on the trip were centered around worship and focused on different forms of worship that go beyond just sing praises and hymns to God. We explained things such as honoring God with your time and talents as well as checking your attitude daily. The worship service we had was absolutely amazing. We had a time of absolute since and set up stations for the students to visit freely while reflecting in silence. It was wonderful to see the students taking everything seriously and really opening up in worship. Our worship leader and his band did an outstanding job with the music. That night was an amazing experience.

For the duration on the trip we enforced that there were to be no cell phones or electronic devices of any kind. I am proud o say that none, and I mean none of our students brought either with them. We came with a respect for what God could do in our lives and we were rewarded greatly for that. We had an amazing experience with God and a wonderful time enjoying the beauty of his creation. The First day was sunny and beautiful and the morning after we were literally inside of a cloud. It was truly the best D-Now we have had since I joined the Youth Group.

Our memory verse for the weekend was Psalms 47: 5-7.

God has ascended with a mighty shout.
The Lord has ascended with trumpets blaring.
Sing praises to God, sing praises;
sing praises to our King, sing praises!
For God is the King over all the earth.
Praise him with a psalm!

He will provide

Recently, I had what I like to call a worry spell. What generally happens is I take all of the issues that I deal with on a daily basis and allow them to compile and fester until I break and end up going nuts for anywhere from a week to a month. Among the issues which plagued me were money, work, school, and the Awana's ministry at my church. For about a week I stewed over all of these things that seemed to be crumbling down around me. The other day I spoke with a friend of mine about all of this. Among all of the things that he said to me, one thing stood out. He said a very simple phrase that I had heard many times before. "God will provide." Now this was something that I new to be true and had actually been saying to myself for the duration of my worrying. However it only seemed to do some good after I heard someone else say it to me. It was at that point that I became aware of all of the blessings that God had been giving me. I have a secure job. I have family that is willing to let me live at home until I can go out on my own. I have a child at my job that is interested in visiting my church. I have a number of small onetime job opportunities that will fill in the gaps. Last and most definitely not least, I have a beautiful girl that God has put into my life and I have fallen in love with her. All of these are things that God has given me and yet I still insisted on worrying about things beyond my control. Part of dealing with life is realizing that it is always your fault. Wherever you are, what ever you're going through, you are there in that situation as a result of decisions you have made and the subsequent consequences of those decisions. I prayed about some things and made choices based on the spirit moving in my life. Those choices were not easy and God is taking me on a wild ride to where he wants me to be next. However, no matter how tough it gets, no matter how uneasy it makes you, God will provide. So take comfort. Part of dealing with life is realizing that it is always your fault. Wherever you are, what ever you're going through, you are there in that situation as a result of decisions you have made and the subsequent consequences of those decisions. I prayed about some things and made choices based on the spirit moving in my life. Those choices were not easy and God is taking me on a wild ride to where he wants me to be next. However, no matter how tough it gets, no matter how uneasy it makes you, God will provide. So take comfort. For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

What is love....

1 Corinthians 13

Love Is the Greatest

¹ If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. ³ If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

⁴ Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud ⁵ or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ⁶ It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. ⁷ Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

⁸ Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! ⁹ Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! ¹⁰ But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless.

¹¹ When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. ¹² Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

¹³ Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

Ocean's 12

Nothing deep or intense today. No words of wisdom or crazy life stories. I'm just chillin on my couch next to my awesome girlfriend and watching Ocean's 12.

Rule 31: You gotta enjoy the little things :p

Confess and be healed

This past weekend a few of the guys in my youth group went on a camping trip to Camp Highlands in North Georgia. It was really good. For me it was the second weekend in a row that I had just gone away from everything and let loose. However, this trip in particular was special. Our worship leader did a three part lesson on Manning Up. The second lesson that we had dealt with dealing with our sin. Our speaker threw it right out on the table from the start. Most of us have been taught the same misunderstood truth. We have been trying to get out of our sin through prayer, or reading the Bible, or just asking God for strength. While all of these things are good for growth, they really have nothing to do with getting rid of your sin.

Wow! I was blown away. For a split second my heart sank. I truly thought to myself, "here's this guy who means well but truly doesn't know what he's talking about. " But what he said next to me to an entirely new level in my walk. Are you ready for this.

The way you get rid of sin is to confess it.

That seemed to me to be an Uh oh! Oreo! moment. What I mean by that is I should have known that. In fact as I looked around the camp fire at the young men around me I noticed that we were all being hit with the same sinking feeling at the same time. We knew that this was true, but somewhere along the line it had slipped out of the equation. Our speaker went on to say that you not only need to confess to God, but in many cases you need to confess to other believers in order to gain encouragement. There is supposed to be a sense of camaraderie between believers that is shared so that we build each other up.

By the end of the trip, we as a group had decided to encourage each other to grow and cut the sarcasm out of our comment, and I was preparing a version of this lesson that i could deliver to our Awana's TNT group that night. I want to close by giving you three sets of verses that I hope will serve to encourage you in this area of confession.

For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved. Romans 10:10

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. James 5:16

When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone. Psalms 32:3-5

Some things are worth waiting for.

I love a good challenge. The one that I've been faced with lately is not kissing my girlfriend. In heart I feel that kissing pretty much anywhere accept the hand and shoulder is the gateway to an entire world of temptation. Kissing excites the senses and puts you into a mode that, to be completely honest, puts your body into gear one of let's have sex.

Let's break it down:

A light kiss is fine, but eventually you want a more passionate kiss. From there you begin to make out. While making out you hands tend to wander and whether by accident or on purpose, you find something that you really like to touch. At this point curiosity comes in and close come off. Before you know it your in a place you didn't intend to be.

Now you only need to have been in high school to know that this is true. It's easy to slip but it's hard to stay on the path. My girlfriend and I have decided to try and avoid slipping by just not kissing. I have to say that aside from the occasional need to just not look at each other it's been a pretty awesome first two weeks. I'm really getting to know this girl and am coming to a realization that she is truly something special and that I have some deep cares for her. I don't like saying that someone is "the one" for me. I don't know if she is and I'm not in a position to act on it if I did. I will say that from what I know of her she definitely fall into the category of girls I would consider marrying; which is definitely a small category when it comes to girls I know. To be plane though, my job, and every other guys for that matter, as a boyfriend is to protect the girl I am currently seeing. There are a few reasons for this and they are as follows:

-If she is the one that God has for me then I need to make sure that our relationship is one that honors Him.

-If she is not the one that God has for me then I need to honor her future husband by not taking what was meant for the two of them to share in.

-I need to honor her and do my part to make sure that she stays pure.

So all of that being said, I think that it seems quite practical to go the extra measure to not fall. I mean if you were rock climbing would you want one safety line or two? Plus it makes room for more good stuff in the relationship. For those of you who want in on the awesomeness, here are some pointers to keep in mind:

-Be open about the urge to kiss.

-Let each other know what you consider signals or stimulants for kissing so that you can make it easier on each other.

-Try not to be alone, or in the dark.

-Don't sit in a car together unless it's in motion.

-Instead of just sitting there watching T.V, talk. Have good conversations. Get to know this person.

These are the things that are helping us stay true to our commitment. So if you are serious about wanting to honor God and your girlfriend then take a look at your weaknesses and do everything that God leads to in order that you might be delivered from your temptations. It will not be easy. It will not be fun. It will be worth it.

Pressing on, all my distress is going, going, gone.

Wow! Have the you ever just needed to get away. Have you ever had a conversation that you only thought possible in stories. Do you have a growing concern about the ratio between the rate at which you misplace items and or thoughts, the amount of time it takes for you to find said item and or thought, and the order in which you find them. All this and more, (or possibly less) or todays blog.

First things first: The job hunt continues.....yeah.

Now onto new business.

That conversation that I was telling y'all about. It happened! I totally got it together and in so many words that sounded better than this does, would you like to date but not be physical on any level beyond a hug. She said yes, and not it wasn't just a "sure why not yes" but a " actually I'm kind feeling that way too yes." (as always I will critic myself in parenthesis, I could have said it was a sincere and mutual agreement) So now it seems I get to actually get to know someone on the level that you do when you date, and not have the shame and guilt of compromising. I myself am excited. I mean it's kind of liberating as opposed to the usual style of dating. I guess it's just cool to for once feel like I'm doing something right.

If you want to God with your life, then it goes beyond giving of your time and talents. Your relationships should be appropriate when it comes to who, what, when, where, and why.

Breakdown:

Who: are the people you spend time with? Are they Christians? If not then how much time do you spend in their company?

What:is the purpose of the relationship? Is it encouragement? Are you growing as a

believer? Are you witnessing?

When: do you spend time with people? Simple put, do you put of time with God to

spend time with others?

Where: do you go? Does the relationship that your involved in take you to a place that

occasion for the flesh?

Why: are you in the relationship in question? Why do you spend time with the people

that you spend time with?

All of these questions should have answers that honor God. I am thankful to say that I am spending time with a young woman that loves God. I am able to share things that God has shown me through study. I laugh, I cut up, and I just have a good time. It's been about a week and I'm glad to say that having her become more involved in my life has been for the better. My priorities have stayed where they need to be. I miss hanging out with my best friend as much as I used to. Still we see each other on Sunday and Wednesday which has led to our hanging out being much more appreciated as well as our conversations being much more meaningful. Most of all, I am not being asked to compromise anything. This is something new for me as far as relationships go. I have never been about to just be with someone with the understanding that we like each other and we care about each other and let that be that. There has always been some kind of catch. That to me is a God thing. Am I saying that this girl is "the one". It's been a week. I don't believe in making those kind of judgements that fast just out of courtesy to everyone involved. However I will say this: she is something special; and I do believe with all my heart that God has something wonderful in store for both of use so long as we continue to honor him.

Dating....or not.

Is it weird that a single 21 year-old college student would find himself saying the words, i don't want to date. It's true. I do not want to date. However I do want to spend time with a very nice young lady and get to know her a lot better. Basically I do want to date, but not really.

Well that makes a ton of sense doesn't it. Though it seems as if I'm just jerking chain, I'm actually being serious. What I want, there is seemingly no word for. Let me lay it out.

First let us look at the terms we know:

Dating: when two people become romantically involved; usually accompanied by some level of physical involvement.

Courting: when two people become close over time with the intent of one date being married; usually unaccompanied by physical involvement.

So, my desire is for something in the middle. I want to spend time with a wonderful girl, be there for her, and get to know her better. While I am human and have human desires, the true desire of my heart is to not have a physical aspect of the relationship that goes past hugging and holding hands. To put it bluntly, whether your getting busy kissing or getting busy......getting busy, it's going to ruin some aspect of your relationship. So if this looks, sounds, and feels like courting (and it does) then why not just call it courting.

REASONS!!!!!! Woohoo! Sweet clarity!!!

1.) I have neither the time, means, maturity, or any other necessary traits and resources to get married so why spend 2 to 3 years talking about it and going crazy.

2.) Sadly, our society has moved out of the era were you could walk up to a member of the opposite sex that you are well acquainted with and in so many words say, "I think I want to marry you, would you like to spend sometime figuring this out."

The 1950's gave us an era of prosperity and peace unheard of in the world in all the eras before (or just unprecedented). During that time american youth developed what was at the time a promiscuous for of flirtatious courting known as dating. Unlike courting, dating actually requires less more commitment to a person and less commitment to an standard of purity and virtue. Overtime, courting was integrated into dating as a stage or phase rather than a separate process altogether. Unfortunately this has led to a massive increase in drama in the world that threatens to have us overrun with teenage girls flailing abut in the streets and teenage boys playing call of duty and raging out with no rest breaks for months at a time.

Call me old-fashioned but I like the partial example of Bill Compton from True Blood. When he becomes interested in a local waitress he simply asks her, "may I call on you sometime." It's simple, you get the point across, and it's a hell of a lot more respectable than making sure you wait 'til the third date to make out.

So there it is in all of its twisted glory. Am I alone in this. Does anybody else feel this way.

THIS IS RADIO NOWHERE! IS THERE ANYBODY ALIVE OUT THERE?!?!?!.......thank you Bruce Springteen.......

They that wait upon the Lord should bring a bagged lunch and a change of clothes.....

Wow. It's definitely been a while. Thankfully this is evidence that I'm not addicted to sharing my day to day with the world. Hurray for sanity and discipline...

So I'm upset because I am at a very difficult cross roads. I need a summer job. This is nothing new of course since I work for the school district of Cobb County (which is off for 2 months in summer for all you texans). I usually work for a day camp but to be honest, the stress i get from there makes me nauseous every morning that I get up for work. On top of that, I have felt through the miracle of prayer and the influence of the Holy Spirit that God truly wants me to be somewhere else since I am unable to go on mission trips and help out my youth minister. So I' m job hunting for a summer job. Unfortunately it seems that the sea has run out of fish. So these are the choices that I face at this moment:

1. I give up my search and go to my usual summer job accept that in the "real world" you can't always do what you feel God wants because society does make concessions for believers and there convictions.

or...

2. I can continue my search with the possibility that I might be at the mercy of folks needing their lawn mowed and accept that in the "real world" you can't always do what you feel God wants because society does make concessions for believers and there convictions. But, I understand that I wasn't made for this world so I may just have to deal with not having as much money. (I have no bills so at this point in time I have the ability to say that. Thank you Jesus.)

This is my predicament. To be honest every time someone utters the phrase "real world" with any level of seriousness I feel moved by an unidentified force to beat them within an inch of their pathetic life. WHAT A LOAD OF HOG WASH!!! My world is not defined by the culture of the day. It is defined by the word of God and the leading of His spirit. I am lead to study to be a history teacher. I am lead to work in Awana's. I am lead to not consume alcohol or any mind altering substance. I am lead to have a job that will not interfere with my ability to serve God. When I am out of school, then I out to be serving the Lord. If I have to live in a basement apartment for the rest of my life drying my clothes in an easy bake oven in order to serve God then I'll do it. I'll be found dead in a gutter before I let money take away my conviction. Fortunately that is a highly unlikely scenario. For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

For me this is a matter of intense faith, prayer and frustration. I would ask that if you are reading this that you pray for God's plan to be made known to me. I don't like the fact that I may feel pressured to go some where that god does not want me to be. I do not like the fact that I am told that I suck it up rather than honor god with my time. I know how to work. I love working. It's how I was raised and thankfully it sunk in deep. But I cannot put money before God. It eats at me and every day that I'm there I am aware that the only reason I took this job is because I don't want to have less. But I have discovered that while I'm not on a mission trip, that's when I have less. I have discovered that not being able to attend wednesday night service, and that habit which is created by my summer job bleeds into my school life, I have less. My heart tells me that I may have to nut up and save up. I hope I can do that. I hope that something solid will show itself to me. I pray for the Lord to provide. I tell people about this and they have that look as if they just heard a little kid say that they wanna be the president someday. Immature, naive, young, innocent. These thing go through their heads as they tell me in a voice that is oozing with dishonesty "well that's just admirable chris". When did we begin to think that we are on this earth to work and then serve God. Serving god is a full time job. It's paycheck is limitless and eternal. None of the checks from Christ United Bank members will ever bounce. So why then do the people whose faith I have admired look on as if they expect me to wake up to the truth that you can't always put serving God at the "actual" top of your list cause you wont get any where in life. Let me just go on record as saying that: IF GOD WANTED ME WHERE I AM THEN I WOULD HAVE PEACE AND RESOLVE ABOUT IT RATHER THAN WAKING UP AND VOMITING BEFORE WORK!

So here I am, hopeful and prayerful that not working at a summer camp doesn't mean not working at all. Pray for me. God light my way.