So I'm upset because I am at a very difficult cross roads. I need a summer job. This is nothing new of course since I work for the school district of Cobb County (which is off for 2 months in summer for all you texans). I usually work for a day camp but to be honest, the stress i get from there makes me nauseous every morning that I get up for work. On top of that, I have felt through the miracle of prayer and the influence of the Holy Spirit that God truly wants me to be somewhere else since I am unable to go on mission trips and help out my youth minister. So I' m job hunting for a summer job. Unfortunately it seems that the sea has run out of fish. So these are the choices that I face at this moment:
1. I give up my search and go to my usual summer job accept that in the "real world" you can't always do what you feel God wants because society does make concessions for believers and there convictions.
or...
2. I can continue my search with the possibility that I might be at the mercy of folks needing their lawn mowed and accept that in the "real world" you can't always do what you feel God wants because society does make concessions for believers and there convictions. But, I understand that I wasn't made for this world so I may just have to deal with not having as much money. (I have no bills so at this point in time I have the ability to say that. Thank you Jesus.)
This is my predicament. To be honest every time someone utters the phrase "real world" with any level of seriousness I feel moved by an unidentified force to beat them within an inch of their pathetic life. WHAT A LOAD OF HOG WASH!!! My world is not defined by the culture of the day. It is defined by the word of God and the leading of His spirit. I am lead to study to be a history teacher. I am lead to work in Awana's. I am lead to not consume alcohol or any mind altering substance. I am lead to have a job that will not interfere with my ability to serve God. When I am out of school, then I out to be serving the Lord. If I have to live in a basement apartment for the rest of my life drying my clothes in an easy bake oven in order to serve God then I'll do it. I'll be found dead in a gutter before I let money take away my conviction. Fortunately that is a highly unlikely scenario. For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11
For me this is a matter of intense faith, prayer and frustration. I would ask that if you are reading this that you pray for God's plan to be made known to me. I don't like the fact that I may feel pressured to go some where that god does not want me to be. I do not like the fact that I am told that I suck it up rather than honor god with my time. I know how to work. I love working. It's how I was raised and thankfully it sunk in deep. But I cannot put money before God. It eats at me and every day that I'm there I am aware that the only reason I took this job is because I don't want to have less. But I have discovered that while I'm not on a mission trip, that's when I have less. I have discovered that not being able to attend wednesday night service, and that habit which is created by my summer job bleeds into my school life, I have less. My heart tells me that I may have to nut up and save up. I hope I can do that. I hope that something solid will show itself to me. I pray for the Lord to provide. I tell people about this and they have that look as if they just heard a little kid say that they wanna be the president someday. Immature, naive, young, innocent. These thing go through their heads as they tell me in a voice that is oozing with dishonesty "well that's just admirable chris". When did we begin to think that we are on this earth to work and then serve God. Serving god is a full time job. It's paycheck is limitless and eternal. None of the checks from Christ United Bank members will ever bounce. So why then do the people whose faith I have admired look on as if they expect me to wake up to the truth that you can't always put serving God at the "actual" top of your list cause you wont get any where in life. Let me just go on record as saying that: IF GOD WANTED ME WHERE I AM THEN I WOULD HAVE PEACE AND RESOLVE ABOUT IT RATHER THAN WAKING UP AND VOMITING BEFORE WORK!
So here I am, hopeful and prayerful that not working at a summer camp doesn't mean not working at all. Pray for me. God light my way.
Chris, AMEN! I hear ya! I have been struggling with this area of my life also, but in the decision of school not so much a job. I believe that your words speak truth. I have been told by many many wise people that one commitment they have made in their life is not to move until God tells them to. This means that before taking a job they pray and seek God and don't accept it until God gives them the okay. This means that before leaving a job they pray and seek God and don't leave until God calls them away. God never said it was going to be easy or that we would always enjoy the work that He has called us to do. However, if your only motives for something are monetary or any other earthly thing, then I believe you will be miserable. Continue to seek God and His direction in this area of your life. He won't disappoint, just like you said... His checks don't bounce. I will be lifting you up in prayer for this specific area of your life Chris.
ReplyDelete-Your sister in Christ,
Katie