Pressing on, all my distress is going, going, gone.

Wow! Have the you ever just needed to get away. Have you ever had a conversation that you only thought possible in stories. Do you have a growing concern about the ratio between the rate at which you misplace items and or thoughts, the amount of time it takes for you to find said item and or thought, and the order in which you find them. All this and more, (or possibly less) or todays blog.

First things first: The job hunt continues.....yeah.

Now onto new business.

That conversation that I was telling y'all about. It happened! I totally got it together and in so many words that sounded better than this does, would you like to date but not be physical on any level beyond a hug. She said yes, and not it wasn't just a "sure why not yes" but a " actually I'm kind feeling that way too yes." (as always I will critic myself in parenthesis, I could have said it was a sincere and mutual agreement) So now it seems I get to actually get to know someone on the level that you do when you date, and not have the shame and guilt of compromising. I myself am excited. I mean it's kind of liberating as opposed to the usual style of dating. I guess it's just cool to for once feel like I'm doing something right.

If you want to God with your life, then it goes beyond giving of your time and talents. Your relationships should be appropriate when it comes to who, what, when, where, and why.

Breakdown:

Who: are the people you spend time with? Are they Christians? If not then how much time do you spend in their company?

What:is the purpose of the relationship? Is it encouragement? Are you growing as a

believer? Are you witnessing?

When: do you spend time with people? Simple put, do you put of time with God to

spend time with others?

Where: do you go? Does the relationship that your involved in take you to a place that

occasion for the flesh?

Why: are you in the relationship in question? Why do you spend time with the people

that you spend time with?

All of these questions should have answers that honor God. I am thankful to say that I am spending time with a young woman that loves God. I am able to share things that God has shown me through study. I laugh, I cut up, and I just have a good time. It's been about a week and I'm glad to say that having her become more involved in my life has been for the better. My priorities have stayed where they need to be. I miss hanging out with my best friend as much as I used to. Still we see each other on Sunday and Wednesday which has led to our hanging out being much more appreciated as well as our conversations being much more meaningful. Most of all, I am not being asked to compromise anything. This is something new for me as far as relationships go. I have never been about to just be with someone with the understanding that we like each other and we care about each other and let that be that. There has always been some kind of catch. That to me is a God thing. Am I saying that this girl is "the one". It's been a week. I don't believe in making those kind of judgements that fast just out of courtesy to everyone involved. However I will say this: she is something special; and I do believe with all my heart that God has something wonderful in store for both of use so long as we continue to honor him.

Dating....or not.

Is it weird that a single 21 year-old college student would find himself saying the words, i don't want to date. It's true. I do not want to date. However I do want to spend time with a very nice young lady and get to know her a lot better. Basically I do want to date, but not really.

Well that makes a ton of sense doesn't it. Though it seems as if I'm just jerking chain, I'm actually being serious. What I want, there is seemingly no word for. Let me lay it out.

First let us look at the terms we know:

Dating: when two people become romantically involved; usually accompanied by some level of physical involvement.

Courting: when two people become close over time with the intent of one date being married; usually unaccompanied by physical involvement.

So, my desire is for something in the middle. I want to spend time with a wonderful girl, be there for her, and get to know her better. While I am human and have human desires, the true desire of my heart is to not have a physical aspect of the relationship that goes past hugging and holding hands. To put it bluntly, whether your getting busy kissing or getting busy......getting busy, it's going to ruin some aspect of your relationship. So if this looks, sounds, and feels like courting (and it does) then why not just call it courting.

REASONS!!!!!! Woohoo! Sweet clarity!!!

1.) I have neither the time, means, maturity, or any other necessary traits and resources to get married so why spend 2 to 3 years talking about it and going crazy.

2.) Sadly, our society has moved out of the era were you could walk up to a member of the opposite sex that you are well acquainted with and in so many words say, "I think I want to marry you, would you like to spend sometime figuring this out."

The 1950's gave us an era of prosperity and peace unheard of in the world in all the eras before (or just unprecedented). During that time american youth developed what was at the time a promiscuous for of flirtatious courting known as dating. Unlike courting, dating actually requires less more commitment to a person and less commitment to an standard of purity and virtue. Overtime, courting was integrated into dating as a stage or phase rather than a separate process altogether. Unfortunately this has led to a massive increase in drama in the world that threatens to have us overrun with teenage girls flailing abut in the streets and teenage boys playing call of duty and raging out with no rest breaks for months at a time.

Call me old-fashioned but I like the partial example of Bill Compton from True Blood. When he becomes interested in a local waitress he simply asks her, "may I call on you sometime." It's simple, you get the point across, and it's a hell of a lot more respectable than making sure you wait 'til the third date to make out.

So there it is in all of its twisted glory. Am I alone in this. Does anybody else feel this way.

THIS IS RADIO NOWHERE! IS THERE ANYBODY ALIVE OUT THERE?!?!?!.......thank you Bruce Springteen.......

They that wait upon the Lord should bring a bagged lunch and a change of clothes.....

Wow. It's definitely been a while. Thankfully this is evidence that I'm not addicted to sharing my day to day with the world. Hurray for sanity and discipline...

So I'm upset because I am at a very difficult cross roads. I need a summer job. This is nothing new of course since I work for the school district of Cobb County (which is off for 2 months in summer for all you texans). I usually work for a day camp but to be honest, the stress i get from there makes me nauseous every morning that I get up for work. On top of that, I have felt through the miracle of prayer and the influence of the Holy Spirit that God truly wants me to be somewhere else since I am unable to go on mission trips and help out my youth minister. So I' m job hunting for a summer job. Unfortunately it seems that the sea has run out of fish. So these are the choices that I face at this moment:

1. I give up my search and go to my usual summer job accept that in the "real world" you can't always do what you feel God wants because society does make concessions for believers and there convictions.

or...

2. I can continue my search with the possibility that I might be at the mercy of folks needing their lawn mowed and accept that in the "real world" you can't always do what you feel God wants because society does make concessions for believers and there convictions. But, I understand that I wasn't made for this world so I may just have to deal with not having as much money. (I have no bills so at this point in time I have the ability to say that. Thank you Jesus.)

This is my predicament. To be honest every time someone utters the phrase "real world" with any level of seriousness I feel moved by an unidentified force to beat them within an inch of their pathetic life. WHAT A LOAD OF HOG WASH!!! My world is not defined by the culture of the day. It is defined by the word of God and the leading of His spirit. I am lead to study to be a history teacher. I am lead to work in Awana's. I am lead to not consume alcohol or any mind altering substance. I am lead to have a job that will not interfere with my ability to serve God. When I am out of school, then I out to be serving the Lord. If I have to live in a basement apartment for the rest of my life drying my clothes in an easy bake oven in order to serve God then I'll do it. I'll be found dead in a gutter before I let money take away my conviction. Fortunately that is a highly unlikely scenario. For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

For me this is a matter of intense faith, prayer and frustration. I would ask that if you are reading this that you pray for God's plan to be made known to me. I don't like the fact that I may feel pressured to go some where that god does not want me to be. I do not like the fact that I am told that I suck it up rather than honor god with my time. I know how to work. I love working. It's how I was raised and thankfully it sunk in deep. But I cannot put money before God. It eats at me and every day that I'm there I am aware that the only reason I took this job is because I don't want to have less. But I have discovered that while I'm not on a mission trip, that's when I have less. I have discovered that not being able to attend wednesday night service, and that habit which is created by my summer job bleeds into my school life, I have less. My heart tells me that I may have to nut up and save up. I hope I can do that. I hope that something solid will show itself to me. I pray for the Lord to provide. I tell people about this and they have that look as if they just heard a little kid say that they wanna be the president someday. Immature, naive, young, innocent. These thing go through their heads as they tell me in a voice that is oozing with dishonesty "well that's just admirable chris". When did we begin to think that we are on this earth to work and then serve God. Serving god is a full time job. It's paycheck is limitless and eternal. None of the checks from Christ United Bank members will ever bounce. So why then do the people whose faith I have admired look on as if they expect me to wake up to the truth that you can't always put serving God at the "actual" top of your list cause you wont get any where in life. Let me just go on record as saying that: IF GOD WANTED ME WHERE I AM THEN I WOULD HAVE PEACE AND RESOLVE ABOUT IT RATHER THAN WAKING UP AND VOMITING BEFORE WORK!

So here I am, hopeful and prayerful that not working at a summer camp doesn't mean not working at all. Pray for me. God light my way.